I've Got Issues (Well...One Issue)

Help! I've got a one way ticket to Make-a-Zine, Utah, and I hate flying alone.
"Got issues" sounds like "got tissues," which sounds like a terrible ad campaign where everyone has kleenex stuck to their face between their big smiles and their red, runny noses.
So. I, just like everyone who is awesome, have wanted to make an indie (hahahahahaha words are funny) local art and entertainment publication, for print and online.
Here is a rough draft of the design/layout. Fake articles/dates/events, placeholder text, recycled photos. Just design, yo! Props to my boys Jake Buntjer and Nathan Smith.
Please feed back me (?) with brutal honesty. I love being critiqued as much as (read: I hate it, but want it only because...) I love improving (read: I am arrogant, and that is not going to change, so I'd better start working a bit to help justify all this self-love I'm constantly submerged in).
IF you or any of your hip friends need a summer project, this is "where it's at." Plus, the quality of this project will be directly proportional to the number of people involved. Right now I have a tentative commitment from David Moore, and, let's see, yes, that is everyone. So. Technically less than one. Total. Anyone reading this (or reading other things) who is tentatively interested should say to me that thing. You, faithful reader(s), are the first to be asked.
Oh! I should see if Jake is still down. After he's up. (It's still early.)
lol lol lol
(I crack me up.)
Good Morning!
(This post has way to many parentheticals [or just enough {we'll never know for sure}])