I'm too self-absorbed. I'm also too insecure. I want people to like me so much! Which makes me avoid social interaction, for fear of committing some imagined unforgivable faux pas.
Bear pas. Fauxbia.
Why did I stop playing music? Why do I not like parties? I know too much about me to be able to confidently answer questions about my behavior. All possible motivations are part of the complete motivation.
I think I am avoiding life. Time to have an eat, pray, love moment.
So many people I know are self-loathing narcissists. I miss my old friends. I can't remember when the last time I saw so many of the people I care most about. Too much virtual, not enough reality. This might not be the best forum for expressing that sentiment.
Sent a mint. Kept gum. If Gumby's last name was delicious, he would sound like bad grammar. Not funny.
There is a friend I miss. I'm scared I did something terrible. I have no idea. I'm that dumb. And as sorry as I am stupid.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Saturday, June 18, 2011
I've Got Issues (Well...One Issue)
Help! I've got a one way ticket to Make-a-Zine, Utah, and I hate flying alone.
"Got issues" sounds like "got tissues," which sounds like a terrible ad campaign where everyone has kleenex stuck to their face between their big smiles and their red, runny noses.
So. I, just like everyone who is awesome, have wanted to make an indie (hahahahahaha words are funny) local art and entertainment publication, for print and online.
Here is a rough draft of the design/layout. Fake articles/dates/events, placeholder text, recycled photos. Just design, yo! Props to my boys Jake Buntjer and Nathan Smith.
Please feed back me (?) with brutal honesty. I love being critiqued as much as (read: I hate it, but want it only because...) I love improving (read: I am arrogant, and that is not going to change, so I'd better start working a bit to help justify all this self-love I'm constantly submerged in).
IF you or any of your hip friends need a summer project, this is "where it's at." Plus, the quality of this project will be directly proportional to the number of people involved. Right now I have a tentative commitment from David Moore, and, let's see, yes, that is everyone. So. Technically less than one. Total. Anyone reading this (or reading other things) who is tentatively interested should say to me that thing. You, faithful reader(s), are the first to be asked.
Oh! I should see if Jake is still down. After he's up. (It's still early.)
lol lol lol
(I crack me up.)
Good Morning!
(This post has way to many parentheticals [or just enough {we'll never know for sure}])
"Got issues" sounds like "got tissues," which sounds like a terrible ad campaign where everyone has kleenex stuck to their face between their big smiles and their red, runny noses.
So. I, just like everyone who is awesome, have wanted to make an indie (hahahahahaha words are funny) local art and entertainment publication, for print and online.
Here is a rough draft of the design/layout. Fake articles/dates/events, placeholder text, recycled photos. Just design, yo! Props to my boys Jake Buntjer and Nathan Smith.
Please feed back me (?) with brutal honesty. I love being critiqued as much as (read: I hate it, but want it only because...) I love improving (read: I am arrogant, and that is not going to change, so I'd better start working a bit to help justify all this self-love I'm constantly submerged in).
IF you or any of your hip friends need a summer project, this is "where it's at." Plus, the quality of this project will be directly proportional to the number of people involved. Right now I have a tentative commitment from David Moore, and, let's see, yes, that is everyone. So. Technically less than one. Total. Anyone reading this (or reading other things) who is tentatively interested should say to me that thing. You, faithful reader(s), are the first to be asked.
Oh! I should see if Jake is still down. After he's up. (It's still early.)
lol lol lol
(I crack me up.)
Good Morning!
(This post has way to many parentheticals [or just enough {we'll never know for sure}])
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Ice Puff Lunarisms
I love spoonerisms, which is tangling words so they become wangling turds. Yeah. That one's mine. It doesn't look so great on paper, but it absolutely KILLS when I say it to myself inside of my head. Ice puff lunarisms isn't phonetically perfect either, but I'm just one person...one person, alone, under the influence...
Honestly? I always confuse the words malapropism and spoonerism. We'll cover Ms. Malaprop next time. Today is all about William Archibald Spooner — Will Spooner to his friends, Spool Winner to himself, Wool Spinner to his equally disabled children. Jk. No idea if speech impediments are inherited.
Bottom line, I got lost on wikipedia again. It's a dangerous place for people who like to do intellectual window shopping. "Cute, a phonetic alphabet! No, I don't need any help. I'm not here to actually learn, I'm just having a look around. Thank you, though! It's a lovely attempt to compile all human knowledge in an easily accessed, completely free, user-friendly environment. But, no. Just browsing. Oh, you have windows alt key codes!"
The west bun I fanned kind is "The Lord, my shoving leopard."
Niece out, piggas.
PS Is that joke racist?
PPS Yes, a bit. But you are WAY more racist for thinking that it doesn't really matter just because only college graduates care about spoonerisms, so these waters are just fine for racist swimmin'. See? I turned it around.
PPPS No, I didn't.
PPPPS I hate the terms kniferism and forkerism for juxtaposing morphemic nuclei and codas. They're all spoonerisms. Get on board, people. It's not that funny.
Honestly? I always confuse the words malapropism and spoonerism. We'll cover Ms. Malaprop next time. Today is all about William Archibald Spooner — Will Spooner to his friends, Spool Winner to himself, Wool Spinner to his equally disabled children. Jk. No idea if speech impediments are inherited.
Bottom line, I got lost on wikipedia again. It's a dangerous place for people who like to do intellectual window shopping. "Cute, a phonetic alphabet! No, I don't need any help. I'm not here to actually learn, I'm just having a look around. Thank you, though! It's a lovely attempt to compile all human knowledge in an easily accessed, completely free, user-friendly environment. But, no. Just browsing. Oh, you have windows alt key codes!"
The west bun I fanned kind is "The Lord, my shoving leopard."
Niece out, piggas.
PS Is that joke racist?
PPS Yes, a bit. But you are WAY more racist for thinking that it doesn't really matter just because only college graduates care about spoonerisms, so these waters are just fine for racist swimmin'. See? I turned it around.
PPPS No, I didn't.
PPPPS I hate the terms kniferism and forkerism for juxtaposing morphemic nuclei and codas. They're all spoonerisms. Get on board, people. It's not that funny.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
The Zero Degrees of David Moore
10 years into my 4 year degree, and one more semester is finally over. Again. Here's some things I made:
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
A Provoking Magazion
PROVOKING: local. art and crap.
I'm excited for my layout final project. Especially since the word magazion cracks me up. I'm making provo a subculture (read: non-mormon) entertainment zine, and it will be cool. Huzzah! Details 2 follow.
I'm excited for my layout final project. Especially since the word magazion cracks me up. I'm making provo a subculture (read: non-mormon) entertainment zine, and it will be cool. Huzzah! Details 2 follow.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Pop Culture Alert: Celebritation Level ≈12.0417/11.0417C*
Fallbert? Colballon? Stephallon? Jimmeny Falberton? Steamy Collon?
You, dear reader(s), (where "s" is for "someday there might be an 's' after 'reader' but for now, it's just you and me, I hope that doesn't creep you out oooooooh that was dumb why would I awkwardly draw attention to the subject of my creepiness and now I'm rambling about being dumb and it's probably making the creepiness seem creepier and the dumbness seem dumber oh dear god i hate myself so much why didn't i just fix my delete key this afternoon like i had planned I just hope I don't say anything else stupid or boring, like that stupid boring joke about the delete key from earlier that went on FOREVER") decide. Even though I already used Collon in a facebook post like five minutes ago. I have two explanations for why I chose Collon: because it is an improper spelling of one heck of a punctuation mark, and also because I am immaturd. Typo! No delete key!
THE POINT IS...
*Can someone (you) check my math on this?
You, dear reader(s), (where "s" is for "someday there might be an 's' after 'reader' but for now, it's just you and me, I hope that doesn't creep you out oooooooh that was dumb why would I awkwardly draw attention to the subject of my creepiness and now I'm rambling about being dumb and it's probably making the creepiness seem creepier and the dumbness seem dumber oh dear god i hate myself so much why didn't i just fix my delete key this afternoon like i had planned I just hope I don't say anything else stupid or boring, like that stupid boring joke about the delete key from earlier that went on FOREVER") decide. Even though I already used Collon in a facebook post like five minutes ago. I have two explanations for why I chose Collon: because it is an improper spelling of one heck of a punctuation mark, and also because I am immaturd. Typo! No delete key!
THE POINT IS...
*Can someone (you) check my math on this?
Saturday, March 26, 2011
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